first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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