So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
