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I'm laying in your front yard are you home
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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