omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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