Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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