i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We're not piercing ourselves today.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
