Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
