Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
