hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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