I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
