I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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