Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
