The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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