they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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