how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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