Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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