Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I touched a dick in church today
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