soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I FOUND THE LEGS
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
