I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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