I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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