he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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