You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
