Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
