I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
