He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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