I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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