I cut my penus on the lid.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
