We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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