Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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