if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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