She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
