I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
