so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I understand Curling. That high.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
