just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
