Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
