sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
