how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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