i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
