Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
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I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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