Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
