In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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