Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
