she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
