So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
