I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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