don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
