Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She is in my trunk
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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