i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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