you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
