i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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