Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
