I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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