I love black thongs
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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