I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
