Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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