Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
