Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
