I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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