HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
